How to make friends in a new city
Moving somewhere new means starting over: no standing plans, no one to text on a Friday. A few habits help, and none of them are complicated.
Repeat beats variety
Friendships tend to grow out of seeing the same people more than once. A weekly or monthly plan you keep helps more than trying something different every time.
The same goes for places. Becoming a regular at a café, park or venue near where you live means you start to meet other regulars.
Your first month
The first week
Find your corner of the city: a café, a park, a place you can reach on foot or a short ride. Go more than once.
Weeks two and three
Go to the same kind of plan again. Say yes to the second hangout, and suggest something specific: a day, a place and an activity.
Week four on
Bring someone new along. Introducing people to each other helps the group grow, and it makes you someone people are glad to see.
Places to look
- Coffee catch-ups
- The lowest-effort way to meet one or two people at a time.
- Hikes and walks
- Good for a longer conversation without a table in the way.
- Game nights
- A group that comes back to the same table week after week.
- Classes and workshops
- The same people, in the same room, on the same day each week.
- Volunteering
- A shared purpose, and regular repeat contact with the same people.
- Sports and fitness
- A regular slot in the week, and people who share the same routine.
What to avoid
"Let's hang out sometime" is an idea. "Sunday at ten, the coffee place near the park" is a plan. If you want to see someone again, name the day.
Also avoid waiting to be invited. In a new city, you are often the person who has to suggest the second meeting.
Staying safe here
In group chats, keep your home address and daily routine to yourself, and keep first conversations in the app until you know people better.
Quick questions.
How long does it take to make friends in a new city?
There is no set time. It depends on how often you go out and who you meet. Showing up regularly is what helps most.
What if I do not have a free evening every week?
A monthly plan you keep is worth more than weekly plans you drop. Choose a rhythm you can sustain.
Should I join one group or many?
Start with one or two so you keep seeing the same people. Branch out once you feel settled.
Keep reading
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Join us on Instagram@joinopoly.app · free app coming soon on Instagram (opens in a new tab)The more real people join, the more plans there are to enjoy and the more friends you'll meet.